


Undeserved

by NotWeird



Series: Not Canon to CC but still related [4]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anxiety, Autopsies, Brunswick Farms full of bodies sooo, Depression, Dubious Medical Science, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, POUR ONE OUT FOR OZMA HONESTLY, Protect Oscar Pine 2k18, Sandwiches Make Everything Better, The tags are dark because volume 6 is dark, the Apathy Grimm just Be Like That
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 12:40:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17043917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotWeird/pseuds/NotWeird
Summary: Volume 6 Chapters 1 through (half of) 6 but with the addition of someone who ACTUALLY CARES about Oscar because my boy doesn't deserve what's happening to him. (Please god someone help him.)Warning for dubious/sketchy medical science? Also a lot of anxiety&depression because the Apathy Grimm are Just Like That. Also a panic attack. It's a bad time all around but that just makes the fluff all the sweeter.





	Undeserved

**Author's Note:**

> Volume 6 has been cruel to my boi and OSCAR DOESN'T DESERVE WHAT HAPPENS TO HIM OKAY /THIS IS NOT UP FOR DISCUSSION/ 
> 
> PROTECT OSCAR PINE 2K18

The train crashed. A wall of snow leapt up like a wave, parted as the shrieking, twisted metal drove down the side of the mountain and shattered the ancient evergreens in its way.

The train crashed and a little old woman hobbled out of the wreckage. She said something. She said the wrong thing. Their group snapped, turned against the Headmaster (with some good points) and nearly came to blows. He was grieving, unwilling to trust- they were pissed and seeking answers [what good fortune then, having a lamp of answers].

The train crashed and a blue spirit of knowledge laid the Headmaster's life out before them like a twisted bedtime story- cruel and plain and _invasive_. What point was there in dragging things out like this, making his life into a campfire story told for their amusement? Hadn't he suffered enough?

(Those children, his daughters, _those poor children_ \- she knew what was in store if they stayed, if their mother was anything like her own [and the Headmaster-Ozma must have known too because he tried to leave; _he tried to leave, he only wanted to leave, and she_ \--])

Lumi stared at Ozpin-Oscar-Ozma-the Wizard on his knees in the snow, head bowed and tears in his eyes. The others continued to tear into him, no mercy- no mercy at all for the fact that he'd just seen _his children die before him again_ -, and then Qrow- poor heartbroken Qrow-

Her Semblance had barely anything to latch onto but it seeped across her crown and into the seams of her clothes, holding her upright despite the dizzy, bone deep weakness that flooded her body. Her breath was shallow and her frame tense, the beginning of a sob building in her throat- or maybe the beginning of a panic attack as Ozpin locked himself away. (She saw her mother standing there, fists clenched and venom in her eyes instead of Branwen and-)

The train crashed. They scavenged for useful things then walked off. Lumi didn't join them. She was in the trees, scouting, far from Branwen (how cruel of him) and far from Oscar (how cruel of her). Her bag was heavy, full of food for the long train ride and light on arrows or medical supplies.

She did have a panic attack, but even when her mind left for spell, her body kept her on the right path, following the group. They ended up at a farm and though she wasn't ready to face anyone, she forced her feet to walk into the house through the shadows. She unlocked the door, held in a sneeze- something smelled faintly off, but she couldn't keep them waiting in a blizzard so she stepped aside.

First order of business, finding a way to keep warm. Second order, snooping.

She unfurled her Semblance like a bird would its wings and felt their group move about. Then there was a scream, and suddenly she was in a room with bodies in an eternal sleep. She ushered everyone out- there was no telling what they'd died from.

Qr- Branwen checked the rest of the houses. Nothing but bodies. No signs of a struggle- they'd all gone to bed and never woken up again. They talked- she wasn't listening. Her head swam and her stomach clenched painfully with memories of Beacon (no amount of Healing could save the dead).

While they planned she stepped through the shadows to another house and scavenged for- well, not supplies like the rest were looking for. She probably ought to, that would be a smart thing to do, but anxiety had fatigued her and left her with a one-track mind. She was going to do an autopsy, or as much as one as she could do considering her lack of training.

A sheet on the kitchen table, shower curtains on the floor, a corpse in the center with her Scroll set to record audio.

First the date, the time, the location. Then, as much as identity as she could figure. A man, aged in his early thirties judging by the pictures around the house. Blond. The body had decayed some but he was well-preserved due to the cold. He slept on his back with one arm thrown over his face.

She had to break his arm to get it to rest at his side.

No signs of disease. No defensive wounds. No infection. His blood had pooled along his back, consistent with dying in his sleep and not moving or being moved again. It must have been a few weeks since then, because his eyes had gone and so had his tongue (soft tissue was always the first to go) but he still had his nails and hair.

She washed the body, considering opening him up to get a glance at his organs- but no. She was no doctor, wouldn't know what to look for. He had no external wounds and it'd been too long since then anyways. What would be the point?

She wrapped h- the body in the sheet and cleaned up. A few of the Temples advocated burials without caskets, but the ground was frozen and there was a blizzard going on. It was common in Mantle to have sky burials, but Mistral tended to favor pyres or cremation. There were plenty of trees around, and firewood (the dead had no need for doors)- so a pyre it was.

She'd have to collect and wash the rest of them, maybe pull out her knowledge of burial rites to appease their spirits (gods existed, why couldn't ghosts?). The beds would need to be stripped of covers and the mattresses flipped. No one of their group would even think about sleeping in the beds, but maybe some other unlucky travelers would stumble across the farm and take refuge. (Things were practical like that, outside the kingdoms.)

**-0-**

Oscar rubbed his hands over his arms and scooted closer to the fire. The walk had been cold and lonely, even with Ruby's kind words and the brief healing Lumi had given him. Getting to the farm and inside a house hadn't changed much. Everyone had paired off and went to look for supplies while he tried to warm up. Maria read a book. It was quiet save for his breathing and the crackle of the fire (it was quiet in his head too, too quiet, it hadn't been this quiet in _months_ -)

"Where is that girl?" Maria turned a page. "Your cousin."

He twitched at the sudden question then glanced at her. "Who?"

"The one with all the hair," she moved one hand in a wave-like motion at the side of her head.

Oh.

"Her name's Lumi," he said and pressed his fingers to his no longer aching jaw. "She's… not my cousin. We're not related at all actually."

"No?" her eyes widened then shuttered with a click. "Well blood's no matter. But still, where is she?"

"I think she went off with Qrow?" he supplied with a shrug. His heart twinged at the thought that she'd take his side, but he couldn't exactly blame her considering her long-standing problems with Ozpin and all the information that'd come to light.

"That scrawny grump?" she tutted. "No, he stalked off to go brood in a corner by himself. She didn't say anything?"

He shook his head.

Just then Ruby and Weiss walked in, carrying a few cans of food and bottles of water between them.

"This is all we found here, but there's still more houses to check," Ruby dumped everything on the couch. "Maybe we'll get lucky and someone will have a secret stash of cookies."

Weiss rolled her eyes and moved things to a side table after setting the lamp against the wall. Her movements were a little slow but it was cold and she hadn't been sitting by the fire like him.

"Have you seen Lumi?" he asked, looking to Ruby.

She cocked her head to the side. "No, did she go with Qrow?"

"He walked off by himself," he said, a faint worry in the pit of his stomach.

"I'm sure she's around here somewhere," Weiss sighed. "There is a storm outside after all."

"We'll keep an eye out while we look for more food," Ruby reassured him.

Oscar twisted his hands together and nodded. The girls walked out. His head was quiet.

**-[-]-**

Lumi filled a bowl with dirt from one of the greenhouses. The soil was partially frozen but rich in nutrients from the look of it. It had to be to grow crops though, wouldn't it? But there were no crops in the greenhouses aside from some weeds and the stubborn stalks of a few plants that refused to perish.

There was probably a metaphor in there somewhere, if she bothered to look. Maybe.

The shadows parted before her and she stepped into the kitchen of another house. Two bodies, an old married couple, laid side by side on the floor, wrapped in the poor man's equivalent of a burial shroud, just like the house before. Just like the house after.

Gods she was tired- exhausted even- but her mind wouldn't calm enough for rest; she knew herself well enough to know that. She might get a few hours near dawn. Hopefully someone had instant coffee stored away somewhere. She only had a few aura-stims in her bag and she needed to conserve them for the journey tomorrow.

Her brain skipped a thought then doubled back as she clipped a half-inch lock of hair from each body. Into the dirt it went; Dust, wine and kindling on top of that. Blood and earth and fire and body- as long as she wasn't misremembering things, it would be enough to rest their souls (did they even believe in the Maidens?).

Next house. And the next. And- children.

Lumi sat on the floor with her legs crossed and her arms wrapped around her ribs, bent in half. Her eyes were dry. She couldn't muster the will-power to do anything more than sit while her mind whirled. Then she stopped her breath, waited until the sensation caught, counted and breathed again. Ozpin had the right idea, shutting himself away when things got painful, she thought. Slowly, she got up and went back to work.

Soon, after an eternity, everyone was accounted for. The storm was too harsh for her to consider going outside to chop down trees. Her hands were covered in dirt and crusted with- something she didn't want to think about. She washed them then dumped the water in a greenhouse. The not-yet dead plants would appreciate the nutrients, she was sure.

What to do now?

…

Well, she could light the burial rite bowl. Join the others. (She didn't want to. She had to. She wasn't looking forward to it. She would.)

She did.

The kitchen was her first stop. A wide, deep cast iron skillet hung from the wall. She grabbed it, filled it half with snow, then set the bowl in the center and used a pinch of Dust to set the braid made from strips of a sheet on fire. Soon the whole thing was ablaze.

"I come from fire,/ and to fire I must return. / Lay my body on the pyre,/ and lay my soul to rest./ I come from fire,/ and to fire I must return," she murmured, the words thick on her tongue and not all comforting. It was the only part of the Chant she could remember.

It took a few moments for the wine to catch fire, but when it did the flames turned transparent in fits and bursts. If she hadn't remembered why she would have been confused, but as it stood one night she'd conducted a series of experiments about the flammability of alcohol alongside-

"What the hell're you doin?" Speak of the Grimm.

Lumi glanced over her shoulder; sunspots danced across her vision. "Funeral rites."

"Well open a window, it smells fuckin' awful," Qrow took a swig of his flask. It was nearly empty if she had to judge by how far back he tipped his head.

She waited for him to walk out before she rose and cracked open a window. It was hard to look at him, hard to speak. He reminded her so much of her mother at the moment. (He never used to.)

**-0-**

Ruby and Weiss returned with a decent amount of food considering the amount of people they had to feed and how long the farm had been abandoned. Granted, most of the food was canned vegetables or beans, but there was also a pack or two of semi-stale cookies and crackers. All in all, a decent spread. Yang and Blake had similarly good luck with their discovery of a trailer bed in the garage/storage hall. A little work needed to be done to Bumblebee to allow it to haul things, but since there was a tractor they could take the piece off that and fix it in the morning when the storm died down.

Team RWBY chatted about their observations of the place while Maria continued to read, absorbed in the diaries of Bartleby Brunswick. Oscar paced around the study, anxiety a stone in his chest.

When there was a lull, he cleared his throat, voice soft. "Ruby, did you find Lumi?"

The older girl blinked owlishly. "Ah, no we didn't run into her at all. Yang? Blake?"

Blake shook her head. "Us neither."

"It's not like she could've gone far," Yang motioned to the howling winds outside.

"Maybe she's with your uncle?" Weiss offered and sent a significant look at Ruby.

She rose to her feet and wiped the crumbs from her skirt. "I'll go check!"

He watched her go and resumed pacing. His worry was for nothing, however, because almost as soon as she'd left, she came back with Lumi in tow.

"You're so cold, geeze!" she exclaimed and ushered the older girl to sit by the fire.

Lumi sat, then seemed to take notice of what was going on for the first time. "Oh, food."

She slid the straps of her bag off and dug inside, pulling out something wrapped in wax paper. She turned it, shook her head and set it to the side then pulled out another, similarly wrapped thing. This one she handed off to Blake then dug into her bag again.

The cat faunus glanced at her team in confusion then sniffed the wax paper- and immediately tore into it, revealing a tuna salad sandwich.

"You had food this whole time!?" Ruby leapt forward and clipped Weiss' shoulder in her haste ("HEY!").

"The train ride was going to take hours," Lumi said calmly in reply. "Packing was cheaper."

Yang received a pastrami sandwich next, then turkey on whole grain for Weiss and a simple ham and cheese for Ruby. Maria was given the choice between one of team JNR's sandwiches and a thermos of soup- she chose the soup, which Lumi heated up with a little Dust.

There was little conversation after that, everyone too busy eating. With only minor hesitation, Oscar took the seat next to her, furthest from team RWBY, and visibly relaxed when she scooted closer in return. She'd packed him a couple of grilled cheese and heated them in a weird looking metal tipperware. It was almost like a tiny, handheld panini press and when she caught his curious eye she explained that yes, that was pretty much what it was.

"You're really prepared," he told her and accepted the second of three sandwiches.

She shrugged. It was clear that she wasn't exactly up for conversation, and he wasn't much for it either, so he just bumped her arm with his and kept eating. It felt nice to have a familiar, non-hostile face around. When everyone had polished off the prepacked food, they turn with slight frowns to the canned beans, sighed, and dug in.

Well, everyone except for Lumi. She grabbed two of the four leftover sandwiches then got to her feet. When Oscar made to follow, she shook her head and motioned for him to stay. He did, unhappily, then realized that she must have been going to give Qrow some food and shifted in place, more unhappy.

Sure, she'd known him for far longer and didn't have the same reservations about him because he didn't have the spirit of a man she didn't get along with in his head, but Oscar didn't want her to go. It'd been a rough day from start to finish and there were still hours left before they could go to bed; he just wanted some comfort and it wasn't fair of him to deny the same to Qrow even if he wanted her all to himself. That was just… selfish, and childish and he didn't want to be treated like a kid so he should-

"You're thinking awfully loud over there," Maria jabbed him with her walking stick.

"Sorry," he mumbled and munched on a stale pack of crackers.

"I doubt she's going to run off again," she continued. "That angsty brat doesn't seem like very good company, not in comparison at least. She'll be back soon, you'll see."

Wow… was he really that obvious? He ducked his head and shoved two crackers in his mouth.

**-[-]-**

Hours later, everyone laid down to sleep. The storm had let up some and the moon was full enough to see by, but it was horrifically cold so Qrow (who had somehow become the de facto leader of the group) decided they'd all leave in the morning after they rested up.

Lumi had no problem with that, though she still doubted she'd be able to sleep, and amused herself with one of the few games she had downloaded on her Scroll. Maria was also awake, reading a series of journals from the owner of the house that she hadn't put down yet (just what was so interesting about them?). Team RWBY was passed out in the center of a blanket nest in front of the fire.

Quiet settled on the house like an old, thick blanket and the shadows eagerly bent to Lumi's Semblance, giving her a view of the entire farm and then some. Rooms full of soft, still air; cellars closed to the elements; it was peaceful. Snow settled on the roof like fingers pressed to a cheek, and past one wall was the barest flicker of aura, restless and heart sore.

Qrow wasn't sleeping.

She checked to make sure that Oscar was truly knocked out (he was, curled on his side facing her with one arm slightly outstretched as if reaching for her hand) then sighed and stood. It was a miracle that Grimm hadn't descended on the farm like sharks to a bleeding seal, but she wasn't too hopeful it would stay that way and helping Qrow out of his funk would technically be helping them all.

With that in mind, she shoved her doubts and memories _far_ down then folded the blanket she'd been using over her arm.

He barely glanced at her when she walked in. "What're you still doin' up?"

"Can't sleep," she said. She was exhausted, yes, but that panic attack earlier lingered in her system like a bad cold. "Figured I'd keep you company."

He grunted and took a drink.

Well then.

Lumi settled the blanket over his legs then sat on the floor next to him and rested her head against the side of his thigh. He didn't say anything, but he also didn't push her off. She took it as agreement enough and threaded a small flush of aura across her cheekbone. He relaxed the faintest bit more.

Good.

The wind howled outside. An hour ticked by slowly, marked only by her switch between games and Qrow's drinking. The house creaked and a log in the fire popped. It was quiet.

Qrow settled his hand on the crown of her head. Her leg had fallen asleep from the hip down, static in physical form, but she pushed herself up and turned to look at him.

"You should try to sleep," he whispered. The moonlight made his sharp features almost harsh, but his voice was warm (it always was).

"You should take your own advice," she whispered back and grinned when he tugged on a lock of her hair. He didn't grin back but at least he frowned less.

They were silent. Someone shifted in place in the study, settled with a sleepy huff.

"Healers need to be well-rested," he tried again.

"I'm a Huntress," she countered. "Besides, you're the most experienced Hunter in the group."

His aura reflected his misery, heavy and dense. "Yeah, real fuckin' good at killing things."

"Good at protecting too," she closed her eyes and pushed a little more of her calm his way.

He hummed and downed another gulp- emptied the bottle. She resisted the urge to sigh.

What she really wanted was to scream at him for hitting Oscar, for even intending to hit Ozpin who was already on his knees, crying in the snow- but what would be the point? It was the middle of the night and he was drinking himself to sleep; and if not to sleep then to at least a very deep state of drunk. She was so exhausted that her limbs felt like someone had replaced her bones with lead, had pressed their thumbs to the hollows beneath her eyes until she bruised; neither of them were in the right state for it. Even if they could somehow have an honest conversation, stuck in the middle of nowhere with six other people depending on them for guidance and help wasn't the most ideal place to have a breakdown.

There would be time when they got to a real town. They could rent a room or find a quiet rooftop to have it out; she'd make sure of it.

Until then, he patted her head clumsily and she got to her feet. While he wandered in search of more alcohol, she padded back to the study to stoke the fire and resume her vigil at Oscar's side. She didn't want him to wake up alone.

It was a long night and it wasn't over yet.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this self-indulgent piece. I certainly did, though writing out Lumi's anxiety in a way that made sense when reading it was tricky. Please review because finals are draining me like a pack of Apathy grimm. Let's scream about Volume 6 together <3
> 
> Also, for those who're interested, I'm on chapter 3 of Lumi's sequel! When I have 5 chapters written and edited, I'll start posting so hold onto your hats ladies, gents, and gentlefriends! Also also may or may not be working on an OC/Ozpin fic... I love him okay don't @ me my nerves are frayed
> 
> Hope you lovely readers have a nice day! :)


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